The following is a list of the traits and behaviors that one can consider to be good signs in a dating partner. While no one may fit all of these, use these as a general guide. If you are dating someone you really like and find they don’t have all these qualities, don’t be overly concerned. In that case, this list may be a guide for how to improve your relationship even more. On the other hand, if you find that your current dating partner has very few of the qualities on this list, you may want to re-evaluate whether or not the relationship is for you.

• Shows an interest in you and your feelings and activities as well as in own
• Respects your physical and emotional boundaries
• Uses intoxicants occasionally or not at all, and when he or she does use them, does so without losing control or significantly changing personality
• Is comfortable and secure enough within him/herself to be satisfied with attention from you; does not need to constantly seek out attention and admiration from others
• Is finished with previous significant relationships
• Is able to manage own responsibilities
• Can balance the need for control with the ability to be flexible when appropriate
• Is reliable; follows through on pre-arranged plans; shows up on time
• Is comfortable discussing own feelings
• Has had one or more personal friendships that have been sustained for at least several years
• Enjoys affection and physical intimacy
• Has a positive, optimistic outlook on life
• Has a good sense of humor
• Takes responsibility for own life, own feelings and the consequences of own decisions without blaming others
• Takes care of self physically and emotionally
• Is able to receive constructive feedback from others without getting defensive
• Knows how to resolve conflict in a constructive manner, or is willing to learn how to do so
• Allows self to feel anger and resentment and expresses anger in an appropriate manner

Allows themselves to be influenced by other people but not overly so. Doesn’t feel that some wanting something from him/her is controlling them at the same time doesn’t have to do everything other people want.

Adapted from the Relationship Institute

http://www.relationship-institute.com